13:13 < dec0de> africa is where it's at
13:15 < moebius_> Dear Sirs, I am the son of the deposed Prime Minister of
                  Nigeria.  We are in possession of 93,208,512 IP addresses and
                  wish to request your assistance...

Last Thursday while I was lying awake not sleeping well as has become common, I had an idea what might be causing me sore muscles.  I can’t remember how long it’s been, but at some point this year I gave in and let my doctor put me on statins.  I suggested that it wasn’t a good idea, a) because everything has side-effects and b) I’m already on medications with effects and side-effects, and c) because of that and the wretched migraines, it can take me a long time to realize that something is a side-effect.  It looks like I hit the jackpot with statins.  After I stopped taking them, a lot of things suddenly improved, including the frequency and intensity of migraines.

Now I feel like I’m recovering from a long illness.  Writing is starting to look like fun instead of hard work.

My experience doesn’t mean that everyone should avoid statins.  But if you are taking them and think they are causing you problems, you could always talk to your doctor about stopping them for a couple of days, then see what happens.

The addiction is the notorious game Civilization.  I periodically pick up the recent version and play some, then get bored and put it back down.  The last time I picked it up, however, something different happened.  I started learning some of the deeper aspects of the game and winning at higher levels.  Civilization may have that famous “one more turn” aspect that draws people in, but that’s nothing compared to the addictive power of learning.  Of course, I was learning to be a better Civ player.

And then there is the appeal of a really solid alpha state lasting for hours.  The appeal goes up if you’re in discomfort.  Since I have chronic daily migraines, the invitation to step inside an alpha state and hide for a few hours is much harder to ignore.

Of course, the downsides to playing games are much smaller than the downsides of opioid addiction.  But there are downsides.  One is persistent RSI problems.  I’ve had worse, and I know these will go away once I stop playing for long enough.  When I change my activity patterns, I will probably get other RSI problems, but I need to give these parts of my arms a rest.  The other is that I’m not getting much writing done.

It’s hard to write when I have a migraine anyway.  Writing doesn’t offer the same comfort as Civ.  However, I will be spending much more time being a writer than being a Civ player.  At least until my arms heal up.

As an aside:  there are a couple of things that may bring me some migraine relief in the next few months.  Then I would have less pain to hide from.  Now wouldn’t that be cool.

Here’s how it works. First go to my site, http://www.lpbtales.com and find a book from the list that I write or edit. This means the books with “buy me” photo buttons. If you have a question about whether a book is available, mail me at the address I will give below.

If you find a book you like, than send me an eligible photo of your butt, the book you would like, and a statement that you are over 21 and that I have permission to post a photo of your butt.

Eligible butt photos:

Must be of your butt or someone who gave you permission to photograph their butt (and if it’s of someone else’s butt, I need permission from them and a statement that they are over 21). There are ways to check to see if you stole a photo off the net, and while they are not foolproof, I will be using them. Stay honest. More to the point, don’t get me involved in theft of intellectual property.

Must be tasteful, in as much as a butt photo can be. This means no butts with things in them, no spread cheeks, no gaping holes, no visible genitals. Your back and legs may be included if they are well-behaved.

Must be attractive or interesting enough to help advertise my site. A beautiful butt beautifully presented is nice, but I’d like to see average butts with, say, a nicely presented message about my site penned across the buns. Or you can add a message with Photoshop, but, as I said, it must be your own butt.

In order to receive an ebook, a butt photo must not only meet all of the above eligibility standards, but have something that sets it apart–whether humor, art value, or sexiness–from the run-of-the-mill butt shot.

You may send me as many butt photos as you want. I will give you a book for every eligible photo. However, I only have five books to give away, so you may want to stop at five photos.

Your butt photo will appear on my site or in ads for my site, so you had better mean it when you give me permission.

Send photos to lpbb@lpbtales.com.

Contest begins immediately and continues until I get bored.

I think I’ve covered everything, but if you have a question just ask.

Lauren with 1/3 of the shading, Edwin Marquez in the background

The red coloring is temporary and will disappear with healing.

Time to Crash

Actually, “what” is you pick up all the other projects that have been waiting their turn.  However, one essential part of getting over the depression for me is spending a day re-reading Discworld books and eating cookies.  I’m also going to spend some time catching you folks up on my new tattoo.

As I’ve mentioned (and mentioned and mentioned) I suffer from chronic daily migraines.  It takes only a small change in air pressure or hormones to set one off.  I’d get a lot more writing done if I didn’t have to drop what I’m doing, med up, and take a nap.  There’s a point on my right upper back that feels as if someone has stitched an unbreakable thread to it, picked me up, and dangled me so that my entire weight was on that one point.  I’ve thought for years that that area deserves a tattoo, something that felt protective.  Something that watches my back.

The idea came together bit by bit.  One part of it was a sword pendant I made in a silver smithing class in college.  Here’s a bad photo of it.

Sword Pendant

The other half of the idea came from the cover for the Madeline L’Engle book A Wind in the Door.  After a couple of years of thinking, I talked to an artist friend and had her sketch up something that looked like this.  You’ll notice that there is no shading and not much detail.  Since tattoo artists know all about shading and detail, I figured we were pretty safe in leaving it up to the as yet unpicked artist.  The biggest limitation was going to be color.  As in, no color at all.  I have various allergies, and going beyond black and white has always felt like tempting fate.

There are many highly-regarded tattoo artists and studios in the greater Boston area.  I spent some time on the phone calling studios in my area.  I was looking specifically for an artist who liked working in black and white.  In fact, every studio I asked said that all of their artists were fine with black and white.  Finally, the nice person who answered the phone at Regeneration Tattoo said, after a moment’s thought, that she could recommend Edwin Marquez’s black and white work.  I looked over his on-line portfolio and liked not only his black and white work, but how he drew eyes.

I set up an appointment to meet him and brought the drawing my friend did along with the sword pendant and a printout of the cover of A Wind in the Door.  Mr. Marquez examined the art, then checked out the part of my body that would get the ink.  We made an appointment for the first session, which I awaited with less patience than I’d have liked.

I arrived with spouse (and hand holder) in tow, just a few minutes late at the mercy of public transit.  Mr. Marquez showed me some lovely modifications he made to the drawing to match the proportions of my back.  After I filled out the paperwork, Mr. Marquez drew on my back to get the drawing properly laid out.  He set me up on one of those kneeling massage chairs covered with the kind of drape you see at a doctor’s office.

I had a tattoo before, but it was on my arm.  I knew that the sensation of being tattooed on the back, and especially on the spine, was much more painful.  However, there is no adequate description of how much it hurt, though a friend told me that there is a violet wand setting that approximates the feeling.  Unlike many things that hurt, there was no real opportunity for my body to catch up and pump out endorphins.  I just sat there and hurt for two hours and fifteen minutes, holding my spouse’s hands, sometimes very tightly.  The only part that didn’t hurt that much was the “migraine point,” which felt like it was so full of pain already that the tattoo needle broke it open and all the pain leaked out.  Mr. Marquez had exactly the manner anyone would want in a tattoo artist, and I may well ask him to do any other tattoos I decide upon in the future.

Of course, afterwards I was buzzed out of my skull with all sorts of brain chemicals, which made paying a little more interesting than it should have been. Fortunately my spouse was able to understand the aftercare instructions.  We went off and ate a fantastic dinner.  And then I passed out and slept for a long time.

I posted a photo of the outline when it was freshly done.  I will post again, with photos, when the shading is complete.

Today the Outer Alliance, has posted an interview with me about my current and upcoming projects.  Outer  Alliance is a community of SF/F writers who advocate for LGBT issues in literature.  In other words, they are cool people and I am pleased to have a chance to talk to them.

They asked questions about my current and future projects, and I supplied answer that were pithy but didn’t make me look like the Aspies you run into a con who won’t stop talking or let you escape.  At least, let’s hope I did.

Cheers!

I have a huge deadline for June 15.

I don’t know if I’ll have time to write The King-Sized Bed.

So many rejections, so little time…

Which is to say, I’m sure everyone who submitted to “Up for Grabs 2″ wants to know when they’ll hear. Circlet has a reputation for taking months to get back to people on submissions. I’m hoping to uphold our honor by doing better.  I’m posting while I work out in my head how the schedule is going for the next couple of weeks so you’ll have some idea of when to expect some news.

I have a huge deadline on June 15. I have to spend most of the next two weeks on it. To save some time, I won’t be writing something original for my “King-Sized Bed” serial. Tomorrow is ready to go already. Next week I will post one sex scene from my forthcoming novel instead. If I’m still tied up the following weekend, I’ll run another sex scene from that novel or another unpublished work. I like that idea much more than the idea where I put “King-Sized Bed” on hiatus.

After June 15, I’ll take a one-week break, then I’ll jump into the slush pile, reading all stories in order by size (smallest to largest).

I have an idea about to handle rejection letters (sadly, there are always a couple). I like to spend lots of time critiquing a story if I reject it. Sometimes writers send me back thank-you notes for the critiques. I enjoy that. Some writers bitch me out because they are Professionals and a nobody like me may not dare to critique a Professional. On top of that, detailed critiques take time.

So here’s how it will work, submitters: if you mail to me in the next three weeks a short note saying you would like a detailed critique, you shall have one. If you don’t, you won’t. In no cases will a request for a critique change whether or not I accept a piece.

See you tomorrow!

]]> http://www.lpbtales.com/writing/845/feed/ 1