Lauren's Tales

I was stuck on the corner waiting for the light to change at one of the big four-way controlled intersections in Arlington.  I had a migraine so bad that describing it was a waste of time.  This dude walks up to me and says “I’m selling suncatchers as a fundraiser for my church.”

I was not in the mood to buy something.  I was especially not in the mood to buy something from someone who couldn’t be bothered to shave his upper lip.  I was, in fact, in the worst possible mood for some random street salesman to approach me.  As if there is ever a good moment.

I asked him, “What would you do with the sun if you caught it?”

He kind of stares at me.  “Well, uhm, I’m not really sure why you asked me that question.”

I replied, “You’re trying to sell me a sun-catcher.  What would you do with the sun if you caught it?”

He gave a nervous laugh and tried to explain, not very well, what a suncatcher was, with reference to “you can buy them on the internet,” which is an interesting generational marker of no use in answering my question.

I eventually interrupted him.  “Well, if you don’t know what to do with the sun if you caught it, what am I supposed to do with it?”

The light changed.  I began crossing; I had to make a diagonal cross before the light changed, so I was walking as fast as I could what with the thunder in my head. He tried to follow me.

“Well,” he said, “thanks for your time.”

Of course, I answered like an Aspie.  “It was only yours until the light changes.”

I bet he told the folks back at Church stories about me.