Recently I was puzzled upon reading an author’s rant about publicity in the era of social networking. She was unhappy because her publisher expects her to maintain a web site but doesn’t pay her to do so. Isn’t publicity the publisher’s job? Well, she might have had a point, but then I read this article about author Joe McGinness, who attempted to bid over $60,000 for a dinner with Sarah Palin before being disqualified on the grounds that she doesn’t like him. Joe McGinness has written books on Nixon and the Alaskan oil trade, and is working on one on Palin. From now on web sites so that fans can look up an author’s other works are totally passé. I’m going to expect my authors to shell out thousands of dollars on dinners with (in)famous people or I won’t take them seriously.
If you enjoy words, especially dirty words, check out The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (that’s a hypertext version, but you can get plain text and other formats if you google around).
Pick a rude word. I went with vagina (though in fact I had to search for “a woman’s private parts.”)
Now search for all the synononyms in the dictionary.
I got bumbo, Carvel’s Ring, cauliflower, cock alley, commodity, doodle sack, fruitful vine, madge, money, muff, notch, quim, water-mill.
Now you try it.
If you feel like posting your words, you may wish to do so on the main blog instead of LJ so you don’t duplicate someone else’s search. On the other hand, I don’t get such a big volume of comments that it matters much. But there’s a linkback if you wish.
Publishers can’t easily tell you how many copies your book has sold.
I know this now. But I didn’t always know it. I once asked a publisher the same question. Therefore I refuse to think of it as a stupid question, because I don’t ask stupid questions, right? Uhm. Anyway.
If it were a paper book, it would take a year to tell you how many copies sold. This is because publishers allow bookstores to return unsold copies of books in case the bookstore decides to spend the money on something they think will sell better, like copies of a new book purporting to examine the evidence that Elvis is alive.
Even ebooks aren’t that easy to track. You think it would be, since it’s all on computer. But coming up with a number would mean someone who has real work to do would have to sit down and tabulate the results from every distributor involved. Since the answer is probably less than one hundred and might even be less than ten, it’s not really worth the effort. Even people like me who arguably don’t have much real work to do would have to bother someone who does in order to get figures to add up.
I blame Amazon. They don’t tell you their sales numbers, but they do have this really strange sales rank thing. People have tried to explain what their sales rank thing might mean (no one knows, possibly not even Amazon). I think they make it up. However, it does give authors something they can click on over and over, and tempts them to do silly things like have their friends buy copies of the ebook from Amazon all on the same day in an attempt to boost the magic number, even if the actual money made from this tactic is less than if everyone bought the book straight from the publisher for a higher royalty percentage.
I try to be gentle with people who ask for sales information even if I can’t give it.
This brings me to a letter of last night where an author asked me for sales information on not one but two books not published by Circlet.
It might be conceivable that I could know sales numbers from a book published by Circlet, even if I don’t. But I’m not sure why she expected that I might know sales numbers from a book not even by the same publisher. Is it possible she doesn’t know who is publishing her books? I mean, she must have signed a contract at some point. Presumably she read the contract.
In fact, it’s way too silly of her not to know who publishes her books that I will stick with an alternate explanation. I have as of yet undiscovered superpowers to know sales figures from books from other publishers, and she was trying to do me a big favor by making me discover this ability. That must be it.
What a lame superpower.
Circlet Press just released a paranormal romance with werewolves and zombies:
Click on the link for an excerpt and purchase information.
I just shelled out a bunch of money for an pre-owned Aeron chair and it landed on my doorstep Saturday. I’ve sat in Aerons before. After a little time in one, you may start to feel that having to sit in any other desk chair is in fact a form of abuse.
This purchase was, ironically, made possible by my recent car wreck. I got the payout for the totalled car, and decided to go with ZipCar for now. I’ll admit that I’m completely neurotic about not having a car, which is very stupid considering how I haven’t driven a car for over a year due to migraines. I got tired of driving somewhere and being unable to drive back when the blurry vision and auditory hallucinations kicked in. However, I do have a spouse who drives. If we’re lucky we won’t have too many arguments due to the additional hassle of having to pick up the ZipCar.
Other purchases have included some fairly nice yarn for warmer sweaters since I’ve been so darned cold since I lost so much weight. I’m probably going to cave and buy some alpaca, even though whatever I buy will need to be hand washed (current plans do not include replacing our ancient washer/dryer with something that approximates handwashing). I picked up a little something for myself at Toys in Babeland, but you don’t get to know what. Under serious consideration is a fairly simple 8-plait bullwhip to start learning new ways to make loud bang noises in the park, though first I have to learn to get a forward crack out of the signal whip without removing my ear. And then there’s replacing the house’s water main. It’s an expensive job, but will be split with downstairs (cause it’s a condo, natch). It would be nice not to get stucked freezing and covered with soap every time someone flushes the toilet.
Happy Night of the Living UHauls!
Kneel to Me
Mate: And More Stories from the Erotic Edge of SF/Fantasy
Up for Grabs
Wired Hard 4
Wishbone